They Should Have The Best Of Me

It's been a long time since the last time i update this blog.You surely understand how when things get busy,people always ignore the small,tiny,little matter and start focusing on things that is more important.I kept thinking,sometimes i can't have too much fun in my life or spoiling myself with what i have because it brings me to neglecting my responsibilities.I realise i had done wrong in my past and felt guilty for my parents.I don't even know what's the good thing having me in the family.It's like it is better if i just don't exist.Don't worry,I'm not thinking of committing suicidal or something.I've tried to make them proud to have me as their child but i guess i just wasn't trying enough until i can be the person they want me to be.They're hoping me to change for the better but i was changing for the worst.pfft.They ask me to study for my own good and I'm acting as if i don't care for my own future.Actually is not that i don't care,but i was too busy on my curriculum,trainings,preparing for competitions till i don't have time to study and yes,i do admit that I'm a lazy ass.I think it is time for me to change while i still have the time.I may not be perfect but I'll try to give the best of me but you can't expect me to change in a short time.It might take long for me to change my habit and i also need people who can guide me.I appreciated my friends and grateful to have known them.They are flawless to my eyes but I'm not to them.Although I'm being cold as ice towards my family but they should know that they are the people i love the most in my life and i have unexplainable reason for my misbehavior.

-Farah-